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So, Jeff Calder has turned fifty years old. It’s funny because it seems like only a few years ago I first saw Jeff, and his wonderful Swimming Pool Q’s. The first contact I had with the Q’s was in Greensboro, NC, at a tiny club-slash-pizza joint, probably around 1982. It was The Deep End lineup with Robert Schmid and Pete Jarkunias, and I remember a magical evening dancing all night right on a tiny ‘dance floor’ in front of this wonderful, funny, dare-I-say-it “quirky” band. The songs were great, the band could play, and they seemed to really have a great time on stage. Soon the Q’s were playing in my hometown of Greenville SC, at a dive called Erix’s (Eric the owner also happened to own the restaurant I was working in at the time, but that’s another story), and after catching a few more gigs here and there, the Q’s were firmly established, and remain to this day, as one of my most favorite bands.

The first thing I loved about Jeff (and all the Q’s) was they were so…real. They just were themselves. Jeff was always polite and talked to us and seemed to really enjoy talking music and politics and books or whatever. The fact that the leader of this great band would take the time to hang out with us really made an impression on me. He never seemed to be pretentious or posture much, except on stage, where his posing was usually a total scream. Soon I would start my own band, and I’m proud to say we played our very first gig supporting the Q’s at the drug-addled Up’s Club in Greenville. Jeff was extremely gracious and supportive even though we completely sucked. The best part of the night was getting to see the Q’s play: to me they were everything a great band should be; tight arrangements, off-the wall playing, great lyrics, unique songs, super performance.

Jeff taught me many things: always be nice to the audience; or, if you can’t be nice, don’t let them know when you’re dressing them down and tearing them up. He was always totally fearless and never afraid to do just about anything onstage. He dressed cool - always with a zippy Goodwill Store sense of fashion. His hair was crazy back then, and he could act the same. I remember one gig where he basically crawled into Billy’s bass drum, while the band broke down and he was riffing on something…then Billy smacked that kick drum, and Calder came spilling out, hands over his ears. He was rolling and moaning…cruel as it was, I thought I was going to wet myself laughing.

There was the famous “oink machine” gig at the Up’s Club, when the band procured a wild delay-pitch shifting device and proceeded to run all the vocals through it. They riffed through about ten minutes of oinky noises, Satan death calls, and high squeals, leaving most of the coked-up crowd scratching its collective head. Of course, another watershed gig was at Al’s Pump House in Greenville, where Jeff and the Ann-less Q’s waged a pitched battle with a hostile redneck crowd through the first set. A second set and a few drinks later, Jeff turned it all out for a stellar performance, including covers of Kansas’ “Carry On My Wayward Son”, and Deep Purple’s “My Woman From Tokyo”. He implored the crowd to “stomp yer boots”, and during an epochal version of “Rat Bait”, he disappeared into the club’s kitchen and reappeared with a huge industrial mixing bowl on his head. He had to stick the microphone up inside the bowl to sing, and finished the set, bumping around on stage, with that damm bowl over his head. It may have been the greatest show I’ve ever seen, and I have the tape to prove it.

Later on I would be a small-time promoter in Greenville, booking a club on a ‘new-music’ night for a few years. The Q’s were one of our first and best choices to play. I tried to book them every two months. They were always great and never any trouble. Jeff was always gracious and thankful for the gigs, and we never had a fight about money or any “deli-tray in my rider” b.s. I booked bands with the music, not the money, in mind. I believe Jeff always felt the same way, although back then the Q’s had really built a following and used to make pretty good money. It was always the worst bands that gave me the most hassles, but again that’s another story. Let’s just say Jeff and the Q’s were real professionals.

I’ve managed to stay in touch with Jeff through the years and consider myself a friend as well as a fan. I’ve heard a preliminary mix of the new LP and it is amazingly fantastic. I honestly think it is one of the best records I’ve ever heard. One of my real ambitions is to get enough money to start a label to put out Jeff’s record, and Glenn Phillips’ next record. I know enough about the business to do it, but it’s always about the money, isn’t it?

Jeff is an amazingly talented man. He is very smart, a great writer, and has rhythmic and literary sense that is unbelievable. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a better frontman for a band. I’m proud of him for never really giving in or giving up to the crushing pressures of the music business. I’m proud that he continues to write and play better and better music. He’s never been bitter or jaded, although I can think of few people I know in the music business with more of a right to be. He is a true, shining original, and in this business there’s really very, very few. I’m glad to have helped him the little bit that I have, but that is a small reward compared to the lifetime of comfort and enjoyment his music has given me.

Happy Birthday, Jeff.

--Steve McGowan